Monday, June 22, 2015

A Bumpy Start

I arrived in Salt Lake City this morning with what I believed to be a reasonable amount of luggage for a gentleman.

I was careful to think about the schedule of meetings, breakfasts, dinners, and after dinner events. You tell me what have I missed? I had packed:

  • my swimming outfit and sporting attire
  • my breakfast apparel for the early morning committee meetings
  • my luncheon regalia (this always includes a number of dandy hats)
  • afternoon jacket
  • a full set of neckties
  • the appropriate attire should I be invited to tea with the President of one of the two houses
  • evening wear 
  • and my after dinner jacket
These Episcopals are known for their dining and as was reported following the last triennial they tend towards luxury. They appear to fancy steak and fine bourbon.

I digress, I felt that I had an appropriate amount of luggage given my dance card and invitations.

I was harassed for my amount of luggage. The bell captain (who was not attired with a pill boxed hat or epaulettes - so I don't know why he was even speaking to me)  pointed out that we would have to use all the valets to get my luggage to my room.  I shouted out, "How dare you! Is this some kind of camping trip? Have we succumbed to modesty! Is this a backpacker's hovel?" I am afraid my cross continental rail trip had frayed my nerves.  Then it happened. A rude young man came up to me, slandered me for my carryon, and claimed that my Blank & Smith rugged valise of my college years was none other than his own! I turned to him and declared that he was mistaken and I flung my coat at him and said, "Be gone imposter. Back away you hooligan. I am afraid that what followed was captured by someone's contraption called "a snap chat instagram" and posted online in an attempt to persuade you not to read our Gazette. I show it here simply to be forthright in our reporting.

When my senses returned to me, it turned out it was none other than our very own The Rev’d Sir Felix Coverdale. Evidently the valise had reminded him of his own. Perplexed and without his household attendant he made a mistake - to which he apologized.

We retired after chatting each other up about the excitement to unfold before us. We made sure that we would gather for a glass of madeira later this morning, to make notes of who shall be covering what, to know the who is who of these Episcopals, and to ensure that you my dear reader are well informed of these goings on.

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