DENOUNCING GODS ANGER AND JUDGEMENT AGAINST SINNERS
The Minister begins,
BRETHREN, in the Primitive Church there was a godly discipline, that, such persons as stood convicted of notorious sin were put to open penance, and punished in this world, that their souls might be saved in the day of the Lord; and that others, admonished by their example, might be the more afraid to offend.
CURSED is the man that searcheth for wifi, though he be not a delegate.
And the people shall answer and say,
Minister. Cursed is he that maintaineth a Hot Spot in a committee meeting.
Minister. Cursed is he that useth paper, felling trees along with his soul.
Minister. Cursed is he that taketh up broadband in secret.
The congregation will sing the following hymn to the tune of Helmsley,
Lo! It comes, with the cloud descending,
That which is Convention's bane;
thousand thousand deputies attending
cannot wifi access gain :
Oh come quickly, oh come quickly, oh come quickly,
As we seek Broadband in vain.
Every eye shall now behold them,
Reception bars of blue and green;
those who set at nought and stole them,
Shamed and assailed shall they be,
deeply wailing, deeply wailing, deeply wailing,
Those who take wifi from me. AMEN.